Expectations

We all have expectations. They may be conscious or subconscious. They may be about our jobs, our relationships, our finances, or literally anything. It’s not bad to have expectations. It’s normal. But what do we do when our expectations are not met?

I have been noticing lately that a lot of the frustrations and sadness that we experience daily usually come from unmet expectations. I’m noticing how much expectations are ingrained in us. And I’m noticing how much we are not even aware that we had expectations in the first place.

I think it is safe to say that everyone in the world right now is dealing with some unmet expectations due to COVID. Because of those unmet expectations, I am continuing to hear the phrase, “COVID is screwing everything up”. We had plans and hopes for this year and a lot of that is being completely turned upside down.

My G42 experience has been nothing like I thought it would be because of COVID. And we do not even get to go back to Spain because of it. I have dear friends whose weddings have had to be postponed or changed to family only because of COVID. So many people have lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet. People are dying and hospitals are being overwhelmed. It all just really sucks. I feel it. I see it. And yet, that phrase, “COVID is screwing everything up” just did not sit right with me.

I reached out to a good friend and asked what her thoughts on that phrase were. This was her response, “That is a true statement. But it’s fully packed with the connotation that we are creatures of expectation. That if our reaction is that a virus is screwing up our lives, then we need to evaluate what exactly are we expecting to happen in this life. And acknowledge that yes, it is definitely turning what we thought was normal and safe into not normal and a space for new ways of living, and those emotions and frustrations are not invalidated, but from the perspective of someone who tries to see everything from the Kingdom point of view, I would encourage people to accept their emotions and not let them rule their perspectives on life and instead ask God what He’s doing. And for the non-believer or yet to believe, I would ask what new way of living and new priorities can you still step into even if they’re unfamiliar. The frustration is so real, but to live inside of that frustration and focus anger on a virus does absolutely nothing for a fully lived life”.

So what do we do when our expectations are unmet? Because like my friend said, all the emotions that come with unmet expectations are real and valid. And the first step is being honest with God, our Father, about those emotions.

But then in the midst of sharing those emotions, do you find yourself being able to re-evaluate things and ask God what He is doing in this? Are you able to grieve the unmet expectations and then set new ones?

And more importantly, where does your hope lie? Because unmet expectations will continue to happen. It’s not a one and done thing. We will continue to set conscious and unconscious expectations. And we will continue to encounter unmet expectations. But when that happens, do we have something, maybe someone, who will never change that we can reset our focus on?

Do we have hope in the One who gave His life just so we would know that we were Born To Be Loved? If that is where our hope lies, then no unmet expectations will ever take us down. They may make us stumble and even fall. But they will not keep us down. Because the love that we were born for and the person who gives that love freely is stronger than any unmet expectation.

G42 Update:

In my last blog I mentioned that we are not able to go back to Spain for our third semester of G42. So instead we will be in Cleveland, GA. We will be staying a summer camp along with Global U, a program from Adventures in Missions. None of us really know what to expect because G42 has never been done in the States. But we are excited and expectant for how God will use this new thing to bring us closer to Him and each other. We start classes next week!

I am currently in transition from my practicum in Knoxville, TN to Cleveland. I learned a lot this summer and I hope to find the time soon to reflect and be able to put into words what it meant to me. But for now I will leave you with this.

Holy Spirit is the balance. There are so many things in life that do not have clear answers. Most times it is not even about what is right or wrong, but more so it's about what brings life and what brings death. And it seems to me that in every situation the answers change. But I have learned that when I'm trying to find that balance/answer, all I need to do is ask Holy Spirit. In every situation, He knows and He promises to guide me to the balance and to life.